Today’s post features photos from last year’s most awesome Halloween party ever. I was a pregnant counselor Troi. How could I have known I’d give birth to a little Hobbity baby, just like she did in the episode? Have a great weekend!
What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!
MagpieLibrarian On a clear day you can see whatever.
MrWordsWorth A ship carrying radioactive waste lost power in the waters off of Scotland so it won’t be long before the Loch Ness Monster has a playmate.
trumpetcake Dumped frozen peas into a paintball gun and fed all the neighborhood children in ten minutes flat.
Patheticist Resurrections are some kind of morning wood metaphor.
louisvirtel Every season of “American Horror Story” is a long Pink video.
jerryRenek Flip flops and socks season is here early this year. I’m so happy.
robfee How to date a fireman: 1. Buy a cat costume 2. Climb a tree 3. Wait for a fireman to show up & rescue you 4. Lick his face 5. Omg 1st date!!
SkullfuckT Tweets don’t have to make sense banana tuesday they just have to be relatable dog cat woof meow
IamEnidColeslaw wine is like a laxative for feelings
linedrag turns out doing squats & doing squat are different things & the last 18 months of my increasingly exuberant exercise blog was a sham
shariv67 Got my flu shot at Wal-Mart and my mammogram at Hooters.
islandofapples Starbucks is a breeding ground for: Nerdy Gamers, Pyramid Schemers, Bible Thumpers, Stinky Hobos, Judgey White Girls* /*me, apparently
sbellelauren if you file for unemployment in California do you automatically get a surfboard or do they ask if you already have one first
biorhythmist Stop asking me if I have kids just because I’m buying cartoon mac & cheese, Safeway checker. The complex shapes hold more sauce.
BiIIMurray I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
marcmaron Its National Mildly Subversive Day! Quietly fuck something up a little.
benerdist No, but there is meat in team.
Patheticist If you expect every human interaction to end with you being tortured and murdered you’ll be pleasantly surprised by people most of the time.
sammyj_04 My letter of resignation was just a text with the poop and sad face emoji.
sammyj_04 When updating my resume, do my top tweets go under experience or certifications and accomplishments?
owlparliament desperately seeking umami
jazmasta I want a girl with a short skirt and looooong nose. A nose so long she can hunt for small insects in the undergrowth. I want an anteater.
lasertron RT if you packed a healthy lunch and are now starving
pourmecoffee Please remember: Today’s SCOTUS ruling is not immediate. Everyone must choose a same sex spouse by the end of 2015 and be married by 2016.
GrantTanaka Worst thing about Little League is hearing my dad screaming “YOU SUCK” over & over again & it’s like c’mon Dad, I left the team 25 years ago
josephesque I used to play hash tag in college. Totally different meaning now.
mdob11 *looks around cat shelter* Ok, I’ll take them.
CakeThrottle So evidently a global pandemic has nothing to do with pandas. It’s not going to be cute at all.
donni On my way to eat your ham
DarlingNikki_12 I was just driving down the highway when Creep by TLC came on the radio. So long story short, I’m now in Walmart buying satin pajamas.
KateQFunny I’m not just an open book. I’m more like an AUDIO BOOK that won’t stop playing.
congletonjohn everything in life happens for a reason. and that reason is usually physics.
ApocalypseHow “Stand Back” is easily my favorite Stevie Nicks song about microwave safety.
Nicole_Cliffe First thing they teach at contractor school is to say “man, the guy who worked on this before was CLUELESS” while shaking your head sadly.
E_lok44 baby got back pain
IGotsSmarts “You’re going to like being mauled; I guarantee it.” – Men’s Bearhouse.
RandomRamblr Why call it thrift shopping and not Goodwill hunting?
bucketcullen Uh, I think you mean “Frankenberry’s monster.” Frankenberry was the breakfast scientist who created him.
ieatanddrink Pick up line: Your father must be an anteater, because your body is nearly ant free
eshep So, scientists can grow penises in a lab, but I can only buy Concord grapes 1 month out of the year? #thanksobama
NicestHippo Feels good to come home and change from my outside sweatpants into my inside sweatpants
tinynietzsche a group of people teetering on the edge of existential dread is called a Sunday
biorhythmist Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the mailman. I envy your powers, shape-shifter.
LaurelKS I just read a story that someone presented as original that is, in actuality, a retelling of the plot of Drop Dead Fred.
SomeChrisTweets Want to see my baby pictures? This one here’s a baby. This one here is another baby. Whoa, haha, that’s someone’s baby for sure.
andrewmorrisey It is true what they say. Vegetarian snakes speak Parsleytongue probably.
JustCallMeMike_ I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
continuants starting a blog for my cat is turning out to be a really great exercise in writing in my cat’s voice
RunwayDan I’ll bet these cats that track down their owners after the owners move hundreds of miles away are just looking for money they’re owed.
BillCorbett Haha my Halloween costume will be YOUR MOTHER haha ha ha!! but it’s been challenging to recreate her outer and inner beauty
rstevens Here’s the pitch: It’s like Ducktales, but they’re all mixologist roosters and we call it Cocktales
TheDairylandDon Just saw a smart phone so big, two smaller phones were trapped in orbit around it.
carlyken If Liam Neeson keeps starring in the same film pretty soon he’s going to be Taken 4: Granted
AndyRichter On her death bed, my nana pulled me close, and with her last breath said, “Every picture of you is a dick pic.”
man_spach I put my pants on just like everybody else, one leg at a time and in between mouthfuls of SpaghettiOs straight out of the can.
wordlust Live in the moment. Squat in the moment. Take a steaming dump in the moment.
usedwigs Just ended phone order to pizza shop with “I love you.”
shinyinfo Which Taco Bell item has the least amount of Ebola? I hope it’s the Grilled Stuffed Burrito. Need an answer… 10 minutes ago.
libsnyds if you guys never hear from me again assume I got a concussion from this and not that I suddenly found life offline interesting & rewarding
LurkAtHomeMom Before I had kids, I didn’t even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.
carlyken Sorry I was late but my Toyota Highlander saw another on the road and they had to battle. There can be only one, ancient prophecy, etc.
JustTashie [Opens door to bedroom] “And this is where the magic happens.” “What?” [Whispers] “Sleep is magic.”
badbanana Tuber. An Uber-like service, but with potatoes and yams. We’ll figure out the details after the first round of funding.
libsnyds I want to throw a Halloween party just so I can tell everyone to bring their own boos.
tastefactory I don’t wish I was blind, but I do wish I could wear sunglasses all the time and smack things with a stick no questions asked.
dxblarssonENG Putting one hand on my hip and snapping my fingers on the other above my head is apparently not a gang sign. I felt cool though.
sarcasmically I never love my kids more than when they’re excited about me feeding them cheese, and only cheese, for dinner.
ohheygreat a group of guys on the internet is an Actually
povertyluxe My favorite classmate is the girl in drawing that starts class by eating multiple sandwiches
HelloCullen but I shared a coke with EBOLAMAN
sarcasticvoice Give me your tired, your bored, your huddled cats yearning to be told they’re “the Tsar of tummies” send them to my lap
RealLucasNeff Billionaire: I’d like to do something about crime. Butler: Being poor, I’ve got some great ideas– Billionaire: I want to dress as a bat.
ClevelandPoet Thanks coworker for announcing you were gonna go floss we were all worried.
povertyluxe Aint no party like a gluten free party cause a gluten free party has wild fantasies revolving around bread
panikido Autocorrect suggested resident Putin instead of resident possum. Same fears apply.
JoshThomas87 Do you know what’s scarier than the risk that someone will dress like a muslim and rob a bank? ATM fees. They’re out of control.
rstevens Fun Fact: The only reason Prince has never been president is because you’re required to have two names.
SpaghettiJesus I hope that some clandestine operative somewhere releases a drone into the night sky & says softly, under his breath, “fly my pretty, fly!”
MassageByTed How is Hunter Pence a professional baseball player and not a hobo in 1930s Albany?
TheBosha It’s not rocket science, it’s aerospace engineering.
morninggloria You are my sunshine /My only sunshine /You give me cancer /Because I stupidly thought I didn’t have to protect myself from you
DrMaldoror Halloween movie lists are why I don’t have more friends. That, plus my Giant Bee Head. But mostly it’s Halloween movie lists.
rzarosco I went to hot topic today and they were having a funeral right inside the store
heythisisbrian “This Taco Bell will give me the quick energy I need to lay in bed for the majority of the day!”
iwearaonesie *watching TV* *catches moon peering around the corner* me: “I said GOODNIGHT, MOON!” *moon runs to room* *gets back in bed* moon: goodnight
Sickayduh “I am soooo waisted” – mom jeans
BeTheBoy Just got your wedding invitation but it doesn’t say if there will be a place to plug in my phone. Can’t risk it. Have to decline.
kerihw Shake what ya momma gave ya! *shakes crushing self doubt*
MizzPopTart Oh…I thought Muay Thai was a restaurant. -Stands awkwardly at gym in bib and stretchy pants
bruce_arthur Michael Phelps seems like a guy who has trouble with land.
ScrewyDecimal The fun thing about a stapler you buy from the dollar store is that the first time you use it is also the last time you use it.
rstevens I didn’t even have to use my AK. I got to say it was a missed opportunity.
WetzelGeek If ever release a heavy metal album it will be called “Snuggling with a Porcupine.”
MassageByTed Through the magic of autocorrect, my attempt to call someone a fatass resulted in me issuing not one, but two, fatwas.
What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!